Now, don’t misunderstand, I am not opposed to colleges. I’ve been a college teacher. Today, I sit on boards at two universities. But the truth is, universities are in a business. And that business is selling semester hours. Frankly, they don’t care where the money comes from. It can come from Mom and Dan, the student, or from debt.  The bottom line is: They need the dollars.

This is why colleges don’t make the rounds of American high schools each spring with free scholarship money for every potential student.  In fact, someone has to pay.  So, if you are a student (or the parent of a student) fortunate and strong-willed enough to earn a scholarship, let me share a few thoughts on how to make the most of it.

1. Find out what it’s good for.  Remember, a $2,000 scholarship may be worth more than a $5,000 scholarship—if the first is $2,000 per year and the latter is a onetime gift. It’s also important to find out how many years a multi-year scholarship is going to be honored.

These days, more and more students are taking five years (instead of the traditional four) to earn an undergraduate degree.  Many schools are still awarding four year scholarship while fully aware that the student may be there for five years. Admittedly, I’m not be the brightest light bulb on the marquee. But after three misfires, I finally figured this little game out. As the father of four kids, I checked with number four to be sure that her university’s scholarship offers would last five years assuming she did.

2. Most scholarships are contingent on meeting certain goals. For instance, academic scholarships usually require the student maintain a certain GPA.  It’s important to ask all the “what if” questions before accepting the scholarship.

For instance, is there any grace?  If the scholarship requires that the student maintain a 3.0 GPA—what if it falls to 2.8 one semester?  Will the student be given a “grace semester” to regain the scholarship if she gets back up 3.0?  And, what about during that “grace semester?”  Will the scholarship be paid or suspended?

3. If you are blessed enough to receive a “full ride” scholarship that pays everything, the simple question to ask is, “Does it really pay everything?”  What about room and board?  What about books?  NOTE: This is also the best time to negotiate.  If the school really wants your young Einstein, don’t be shy.  Ask if they will include plane fare home a couple of times each year.  And, how about a computer?  Be imaginative.  **This advice does not apply to athletic scholarships.

4. Lastly, get it in writing.  Again, I’m speaking as a father. Kids tend to get giddy when scholarships are put on the table.  That’s to be expected—they’re still in their teens. You’re a grown up. Don’t drool. Ask the school to document everything they’ve promised in writing.  I still remember the disappointment I felt when a school I thought I could trust reneged on a scholarship they had promised our son—only after he had enrolled.

A recent survey indicated that nearly sixty percent of employees under age thirty-five want to be managers. But among employees over fifty-four, less than a third said they would accept the title of manager. As a guy who is in his fifties, who gives a Retooled and Refueled Seminar weekly, and who has managed a number of companies, I can tell you exactly why the seasoned pros responded the way they did: They don’t want the grief! Management seems prestigious and exciting to young, inexperienced workers. But as the years pass, reality and cynicism often set in.

However life is too short to spend our days running from its inevitable difficulties. I want to share some strategies that will help you view problems from a healthier and more productive perspective—and learn to “eat them for breakfast.”

It was several decades ago when I began to realize that problems have the potential for good. I noticed that a friend of mine (who was in a pressure cooker job) rarely used the word “problem.” Instead, he chose the word “challenge.” When he hit a really rough patch of life waves, he would often say, “Let’s think about what God is trying to teach us through these challenges.” I noticed that he seemed to weather tough times better than most of the other people I knew. Life has taught me that problems (or challenges) can be the precursor to great blessings. When I was twenty-seven years old I noticed that my left arm ached when I walked fast. I didn’t think much about this quirk until I mentioned it to my doctor one day. His worried look concerned me. To make a long story short, that was when I learned that I have heart disease. By my thirties I would be informed that the disease had become significantly worse and that I would be having quintuple bypass surgery.

Needless to say, that was not part of my life plan. I expected to live forever. And this was a real problem! Or was it simply a challenge?

It’s now been nearly two decades since my surgery. And I can tell you truthfully that the experience has been a blessing on a host of levels.

First, unlike most of my contemporaries, I learned early in life just how precious every day is. I may have been in my thirties chronologically, but in doggy years I was in my sixties. So I determined to use my time more wisely. Suddenly the mundane became important. Time with my family was a gift to be savored.

I wanted to experience all that life had to offer.

Second, this experience forced me to grow up. I became more sober about what is really important. I began to separate the temporal from the eternal. My relationship with God became more urgent and vital. My prayer life has grown and grown. I also made up my mind to do all I could to slow the progression of my disease. I still remember my surgeon. Technically, he was great. But his bedside manner came up a bit short. Soon after my surgery he nonchalantly told me that I’d probably be sick again in four or five years.

When I asked why, he explained that it was because my disease was serious and most people don’t change their lifestyles—they go back to their bad behaviors as soon as the scare wears off. That was the day I determined to do otherwise. Since my surgery I have become a healthier person. I haven’t had a steak in all these years. I work out vigorously at the YMCA and have lost weight. And I take my meds religiously. Anything could happen, but thank God, today I feel great!

Third, God has allowed me to use my illness to minister more effectively to others. The truth be told, I probably wouldn’t have as much empathy for other sick people if I had not experienced my own illness.

Here’s what I’ve learned: Essentially there are three ways to deal with a problem. I call these the “3 R’s.” The first is to “run away.” The second option is to “resist it.” The third is to determine to “resolve the problem.” It won’t surprise anyone when I tell you that my preferred “R” is to resolve the problem. But that’s where the rub comes. Exactly how do you fearlessly stare a problem down and resolve it?

This is where a fourth “R” comes into play. I call this the Roller Coaster Strategy. Years ago, I was afraid of roller coasters. But it wasn’t cool to admit such a “girlie” thing, so I jumped on and did my best to look like I was having a ball. All the time my white knuckles were gripping the bar tightly, and I was pushing as far back in my chair as possible trying to brace for the inevitable.

It wasn’t until some years later that I learned a whole new way to ride roller coasters—a way that made the experience a real hoot. Instead of dreading every turn and drop, I changed my attitude. I got onboard with my mind made up to really enjoy the ride. When the coaster would finally reach its highest point, I would let go, put my hands in the air, lean forward, and dare it to give me its best shot. Wow! Suddenly with the fear gone, I loved the rush. It was fun. Today, I am somewhat of a roller coaster connoisseur.

The fact is, problems (again, I prefer the word challenges) offer the chance for change. If we embrace the challenges that hit us we have the opportunity to grow. They can make us smarter and more careful. They can help us avoid even more painful situations. They can help us help others dodge some of the pitfalls of life. Many of the most effective ministries that I’m aware of were started by broken people. Often people who have weathered tough challenges (pornography, alcohol and drug dependence, divorce, etc.) are the most able to minister to others.

“What,” you ask, “is a depreciating asset?”

It’s anything that’s going to be worth less tomorrow than it is today! By definition, a depreciating asset goes down in value after you buy it. This is why I urge people to avoid borrowing money for furniture, appliances, and even new cars. At the top of this list is a vacation. Think about it. Where’s the sanity in taking your credit card on vacation and giving it a tan—then having to work and worry for the next year to pay off that vacation?

Remember, when Christians start listening to Madison Avenue, Detroit and Wall Street instead of Matthew, Luke , James, and John—that’s when we get into trouble and lose our honor. Suppose you become convinced that you just have to have that brand new motorcycle—because the slick ad says that “you deserve it.” So you borrow the $15,000.

What happens ten months later when you lose your job and still owe $13,000 on the motorcycle? Now it’s worth only $11,000. How do you sell the motorcycle for $11,000, pay off the $13,000 that you owe and maintain your honor? How does the calculus of that work? When Christians listen to the wisdom of the world, we’re headed for trouble.

The Bible encourages running aggressively from the debt trap. It challenges us to look to the ant (whose IQ starts with a decimal point) and consider our own need to plan ahead.

“Free yourself, like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter, like a bird from the snare of the fowler. Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest. How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest—and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man.” (Proverbs 6:5-11; NIV)

Credit card companies love people who make the minimum payment and let the balance go unpaid month after month. And, conversely, credit card companies don’t like you very much if you pay off the entire amount each month—because you’re only making them a little bit of money. Most of these companies make a huge percentage of their profits from interest and various late charges and service fees. As a matter of fact, if you pay your entire balance every month, the credit card companies call you a deadbeat!

Let me illustrate how this works. Suppose you have a credit card balance of $4,000 (that’s only a half or a third of what many families carry), and you decide to pay just the minimum each month. Now let’s assume that your credit card company’s minimum monthly payment is 2 percent. (That’s more than some cards require. But let’s use this figure since the more you pay—the faster it goes away.) At that rate, we’d send in the first monthly payment of $80. Depending on the interest rate and various other details of your contract, some experts estimate that it could take more than thirty years to pay off your $4,000 debt!

One of the most important credit card disciplines is to determine (with no exceptions) to pay every single penny every single month.  Failure to do this means that you will have to do the following:

Get in front of a mirror and have a little 12-Step meeting with yourself.  This is when I look at me in the mirror and I say, “Hi. I’m Steve and I’m a spendaholic!”  Think about it.  Despite what our culture may say, if you are spending money that you don’t have, one of two things is true: you are either a spendaholic—or, you’re a thief!

If you aren’t paying off the full balance every month—get rid of the credit cards!  This means that we must get rid of all the cards. Just like an alcoholic who wants to stop being an alcoholic—you have to stop using credit cards cold turkey!  Remember, part of the strategy for overcoming alcoholism does not include leaving one bottle of vodka on top of the refrigerator—just in case you have an emergency!  Get rid of the credit cards!

I don’t mean to be a killjoy here.  But I am telling you the hard truth. If you can’t (or, won’t) pay off the full amount every month, your life will be much easier without credit cards.  Think about it.

Sadly, my baby boomer generation and those who’ve come after have never mastered some of the finer points of that elder generation’s culture. But I have noticed one not so great tendency common among people from that great generation. Many older adults don’t find it easy to apologize and admit fault — especially to someone who is younger.

I strive to be honest in my writing, so I want to honor that commitment as I share something that I have never written about before. One author, when asked if it was hard to write a book, said, “Not at all. All you have to do is open a vein.” Well, here is where I must pull out a razor and become painfully personal.

My mother was one of the godliest women I have ever known. Before I was born, she quit her job as a teacher to become a 24/7 mom. Some of my earliest memories are of sitting on Mother’s lap as she read us Bible stories. She always put my dad and us children first. She was always at home when I came in from school — with a plate of cookies and an RC Cola. She served everyone she knew.

When we were finally off to college, Mother made food for the lonely, visited the sick, and built a successful Christian pre-school. She was as close to perfect as a mother will ever be. With that said, she had a flaw. Mom could not make herself admit wrong and apologize. Sure, occasionally she would make a sweeping comment like, “Oh, I’m sure I’ve made mistakes.” But I don’t recall a single time when, of her own volition, Mother sat down beside me and simply said, “Steve, I mishandled that situation, and I’m sorry. Will you forgive me?”

I wish she had. It would have improved our relationship tremendously. It would have lessened my adolescent frustration, anger and rebellion. I knew she wasn’t perfect. My dad knew she wasn’t perfect. I imagine she knew she wasn’t perfect. But by not willingly admitting it, resentment grew. To the day of her death, Mother could never bring herself to deal with this problem.

I probably have not been as good a father as she was a mother. But one thing we determined to do early and as often as necessary was to apologize to our children. There have been scores of times over the years when Bon and I messed up with the kids. Often we didn’t realize it until one of them pointed the fact out. And, too frequently, I allowed my pride to dominate. There have been times when I denied my mistake — or got mad at the child who was impertinent enough to make such an observation.

But in most cases, it finally sunk in and I realized I had dropped the ball. I needed to stop everything, go to that child and say the simple words, “I’m sorry. I really blew it, and I hope you will forgive me.”

Did this make us perfect parents? Not at all. But it did make us a little less imperfect.

We noticed almost immediate benefits from this approach. A gentle word really did turn away wrath. It had a soothing, calming effect on the children. It’s hard to stay mad at a parent who is willing to apologize. A sincere “I’m sorry” is one of the most disarming phrases one can utter.

Maybe this is part of what the Lord meant when he told fathers, “. . . do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4, NIV).

Being willing to apologize also helped foster deep bonds and profound friendships with our now adult children. Over the years they have thanked us for being willing to admit our faults. But the greatest blessing has been to Bonnie and me. Today each of our four adult kids comes to Mom and me regularly to discuss their problems, dreams, and relationships. Sometimes their nakedly open honesty leaves us dismayed. They confess their sins to us and ask for prayer and guidance.

Apologizing quickly goes far beyond the parent/child relationship. As Christians, we need to be ready to admit guilt and apologize whenever the Spirit prompts us. We talk about mistakes we make in the Retooled and Refueled Seminar. When we make errors, it’s wise to step up and make things right — before someone demands it. “If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God” (Matthew 5:23b-24, The Message).

Nope, I can’t promise that this neat little formula will always make for a happy-clappy, problem-free, no-fuss-no-muss life. But if you model honesty, vulnerability, and a confessional heart, don’t be surprised if you see the same reflected back to you one day. Isn’t life too short not to give it a try?

But I disagree with people who say that no one should own a credit card. To blame credit cards for our spending problems is a little bit like going into the Burger King, coming out looking like a Whooper, and then blaming them for the problem!  The usage of a credit card has more to do with self discipline and personal control than anything else. Frankly, I believe that credit cards can actually be helpful in a number of ways:

• If your credit card is stolen and used fraudulently, you’ll likely have fewer problems retrieving the loss than you would if your cash was stolen. In many cases, your liability is limited to $50 per card.
• Some credit cards extend the product warranties.
• Credit cards offer a good way to manage your money.
• Many credit cards offer neat benefits like cash back, airline miles and other premium services. Of course, these “benefit” cards also tend to have higher interest rates and slightly higher annual charges. But, for people who follow what I teach in our No Debt No Sweat! book and seminars, the interest rate aren’t a problem—because we don’t carry a balance! And, as far as the annual fees, it’s simply a matter of running the numbers and making certain that the rewards outweigh the costs.
• If you have a dispute with a merchant, your credit card company may be able to assist to resolve your issue with that merchant.

But there should be a skull and crossbones warning here, too. While they’re promoted as plastic prosperity, credit cards are plastic explosives for millions of Americans. I would agree that some of us shouldn’t even touch them. I believe there are four things that anyone using a credit card should do:

1. Never buy anything with a credit card that you wouldn’t buy with cash. If you don’t have money in the bank to pay for it, don’t buy it. Studies show that people often spend 12–40 percent more when they’re using plastic!

2. Have a “Love Number” with your spouse. Agree with your spouse beforehand on a maximum amount you can spend with the credit card—and don’t exceed it without first talking to each other and agreeing that it makes sense.

3. Pay every single penny every single month. If you notice a couple of months passing with an unpaid balance, it’s time to pay it off or get rid of the card!  Never, never, never carry a balance! It’s a witch’s brew for trouble.

Nothing that I say here is meant to sound harsh. But having met with, and wept with, people all over the country who have been caught up in the credit card trap, I am convinced that only disciplined individuals should use credit cards. Many people are better using checks, cash and debit cards.

When you boil it down to basics, there are two ways to have more money. (Actually, I suppose there is a third, but it involves using a mask and gun—probably not a good plan.) Seriously though, I still remember a meeting with our business’s accounting firm many years ago. I suppose the monthly numbers hadn’t been great and probably without thinking, I stupidly asked my accountant, “What do we need to do?” Before I could retrieve that idiotic question, my accountant said, “Earn more or spend less.”

It’s still true. That’s how the people who get ahead—get ahead. But, today, thrift is a forgotten art. Maybe it’s because we’re too many generations removed from the Great Depression when people didn’t know where their next meal was coming from. We think it’s bad today when we can’t afford a new Apple computer. In the 1930s, people were just trying to afford an apple for dinner!

My father grew up in the Great Depression, and after World War II, he and my mother married. After a few years as a teacher, my dad became convinced that he needed to do his own thing. So he began an insurance firm that became very successful. My father always dressed in a coat and tie. We lived in a modern house with all the niceties of life, but I can still remember my father picking up pennies when he walked down a sidewalk. (On a related note, I was told that someone has calculated that it would be a waste for Bill Gates to stop and pick up a $100 bill, because the $100 would be worth less than the few seconds it would take him to retrieve it!)

Practically applied, thrift means we watch our money carefully. Remember, if you don’t care enough about your money to keep an eye on it, someone else who wants it more than you do will watch it (and take it away)! This means we must aggressively look for ways to cut our cost of living. Sometimes it’s simply a matter of being thoughtful: turning off lights when we leave the room, setting the thermostat lower and wearing a jacket, planning our errands so we avoid needless driving, and so forth.

But more and more in our self-indulgent, got-to-look-cool culture, this will require that we depart from the pack. It means doing stuff our friends won’t do. It means refilling our water bottle from a filtered tap at home rather than spending two dollars for one of those hip brands at the store. It means reusing our cups. (Did you know that if your bring your own cup, many convenience marts will let you refill it for up to 50 percent less than the cost of buying a new cup?) It means clipping coupons. It means buying our kids’ clothes at the next-to-new shops. (They’ll outgrow them before they outwear them anyway.) It means selecting a car for transportation rather than to impress people you don’t know!

This isn’t a bad way to live life. Many families have learned that it’s fun to gather the kids and brainstorm ways to cut costs and save money. And, besides, what a great legacy to leave!

One of the things that bugs me the most (I’m not proud to confess this) is that sometimes I become angry at people and events that interrupt my schedule. Whether it’s an email from Bonnie asking me to run an unexpected errand; or someone with a broken car who obviously needs my help; or one of the kids who wants to re-talk something that we’ve already discussed nineteen times—I am frequently disappointed by my lack of patience.

I still don’t have this demon conquered, but over the years God has helped me face this problem—and make some headway. The single most important turning point for me came one day when I approached Dr. Jerry Jones, one of my mentors, to discuss an issue I was dealing with. Jerry is one of the busiest, highest octane guys I know. He travels, writes, speaks, and teaches nationwide. Thousands of people seek his counsel on spiritual and marital issues. He is constantly being pulled by one person, then the next, for his time and attention. So I began my conversation slowly and hesitantly by saying, “Jerry, I hate to pester you because I know you’re extremely busy . . . .”

That was the last word out of my mouth before I saw his face turn from friendly to almost angry. Jerry looked me squarely in the eye and said, “Steve, don’t ever say a thing like that to me again! I am never too busy to spend time with you.”

Whew! Was I supposed to feel better—or scared? Jerry went on, “My job is to be like our Lord. Jesus ran a ministry of interruptions. He frequently started to do one thing only to be interrupted by someone who needed his time more immediately.”

Frankly, I don’t even remember what I wanted to discuss with Jerry on that particular day. But in the years since, I’ve played and re-played Jerry’s words in my mind a number of times: “Jesus ran a ministry of interruptions.”  The more I’ve pondered it, the more truth I saw in it.

Over the years since that day it has occurred to me how often Jesus began doing one thing only to be interrupted and end up doing something else. Jesus always seemed to live in the moment. Over and over, his plans were preempted. Do you remember the day that he got an urgent message from an important religious leader asking him to come and heal his dying daughter? Immediately Jesus began to follow Jairus to his home. No doubt this was a high-profile event. Likely there were thousands of people following. This was Jesus’ chance to heal an important Jewish leader’s child and become more popular than ever in the better social circles. If Jesus had had a publicist, he would have advised, “Stay on task Jesus—keep moving. You want everyone to see you perform this miracle.”

But things didn’t work out as planned. On his way to Jairus’ house, a common woman with an uncontrolled hemorrhage reached out for healing. Jesus could simply have ignored her and rushed on. But that wasn’t the Jesus style. Instead, he stopped and spent time becoming acquainted with this otherwise unremarkable woman.

This was not the exception in Jesus’ life—it was the norm. Even when things were at their worst, Jesus still kept his periscope up—always ready to respond to the immediate needs around him. I don’t operate that way. The more stressful my situation becomes, the less likely I am to pay attention to others who need my help. I want to be more like Jesus.

Luke tells how Jesus started to Jerusalem fully aware that, when he arrived, his enemies would murder him on a cross. To prepare his followers, Jesus said, “We are going up to Jerusalem, and everything that is written by the prophets about the Son of Man will be fulfilled. He will be handed over to the Gentiles. They will mock him, insult him, spit on him, flog him and kill him” (18:31-32, niv).

Now if this had been me, I would have been so focused on my own problems that I wouldn’t have noticed anyone else’s pain. But not Jesus. On his own death march, Jesus stopped and healed a blind beggar. Then, a few miles down the road, he stopped long enough to change the life of a short, corrupt tax collector named Zaccheus. This little guy had spent his career enriching himself by ripping off his fellow Jews. But thanks to Jesus’ willingness to be interrupted, Zaccheus found hope, forgiveness, and morphed from a taker into a giver.

Even when Jesus was moments from his own arrest, he still took time to heal the ear of one of his captors who would aid and abet his crucifixion. We humans tend to miss the big picture in two ways. One, when we mistakenly think that what is most important to us is also what is most important to God. And two, when we adopt the attitude that says “it’s my time.”

Remember, as Christians we have given it all up for God. Whether it’s our money or our music, our talents or our toasters—it’s all God’s stuff. The basic concept of biblical stewardship means realizing that God owns everything, including our time. Remembering this is why Jesus never missed the big picture.

The point here is simple: If you and I want to have true peace and joy we must pattern our lives after the one who brings peace and joy. I know that this is counter intuitive stuff. This is not the way most of our friends think.

According to the media, we get ahead by putting ourselves first. Most awards are given to self-promoters. But in God’s economy (the only one that will survive into eternity), it has much more to do with how available and ready we are when God “interrupts” our day.

A little strategy that has helped me to cope with — and actually anticipate — change involves renaming it. Marketing people have long understood the importance of words. For instance, we no longer have “used cars.” Now they are “pre-owned automobiles.” And instead of TV reruns, my summertime shows are now called “encore presentations.” It’s the same with change.

Maybe a different name would also bring a new vantage point. So, instead of calling something a change, we could call it what it actually is: A life passage. This morning as I begin writing this, I am preparing for a life passage — I think. At 11:30, I’m due to meet with Kevin for lunch. Our daughter Emilee and her boyfriend Kevin have been dating for some time now. Bonnie and I have expected what I believe is going to happen today. Kevin came to my office the other day and asked for this lunch meeting. Immediately, I gulped emotionally and said, “Sure. When and where?”

Frankly, I didn’t care when and where — I was mostly preparing myself for the “what” of the meeting. You see, I think Kevin is going to ask me for permission to marry Emilee.

Now there are several ways I can deal with this. I can become possessive and resist the entire notion. This would be a certain way to insure Emilee’s eternal love for her dad. Yeah, right! Or I could wax emotional and relive the early years when we called Emilee “Porcupine” (back then, her now long, beautiful hair, stuck straight out like a porcupine). Or maybe I could approach this with all the joy and optimism it deserves and realize that this is simply another life passage.

The reason I prefer this phrase instead of the word “change” is because it denotes the possibility of a new and beautiful vista — something I’ve never seen or experienced before. This is the optimism with which I believe God wants his children to approach life.

Why does the announcement of a new office manager scare you? Probably because you’re worried she’ll be worse than the last one. Why are you uncomfortable with the thought of having to move? Maybe because you assume that you’ll lose old friends — and never replace them with new ones. Why would a parent be a bit apprehensive about a daughter getting married? Assuming the beau is as cool and godly as Kevin, only because things in the future won’t be like they were in the past.

This is where “what if?” thinking begins to shine. What if that new office manager sees your talents in a light her predecessor never did — and promotes you? What if your move leads to a new circle of friends whose depth and relational skills exceed anything you’ve ever before experienced? And won’t those trips back for long weekends with your old friends be neat? And what if Kevin becomes wealthy and decides to buy Bonnie and me a home in Palm Beach? Well, that may be a little over the top, but you get my drift. There have been so many times after fighting and clawing to stave off a change — which is unavoidable anyway — I was stunned at how much better things became.

In my experience, attitudes tend to become self-fulfilling prophesies. I still remember the old story of a man who was sitting in front of a general store. An out-of-towner pulled his car up, stopped, and said, “I’m thinking of moving here. What sort of people live in this town?”

Without stopping his whittling, the first man simply inquired, “Tell me about the people where you come from.” The traveler grumbled, “Oh, they were the worst! I never found a single person in that town who liked me.”

“Those are exactly the kind of folks who live here,” came the native’s reply. “I’d recommend that you look somewhere else to homestead.”

A short while later, another weary traveler pulled into town. He, too, saw the man in front of the store and asked the same question about the people of the town. Again, the local inquired about the traveler’s previous relationships in his last hometown.

“Man, they were the best! Everyone in town was kind and ready to be a friend,” he bragged, “I hated to leave.” Came the reply, “Friend, you’re going to love it here too; let me introduce you around as soon as you’re settled.”

I wonder what would happen if “what if ” thinking replaced the fear of change. Do you suppose God would reward our faith and optimism with more peace, less stress and greater eventual joy? Jesus said it himself, “As a man thinks — so is he.”

p.s. I’m back from lunch. It looks like we’re going to get a new son out of the deal. I can’t wait!

In Scripture we see Satan as he really is—the great accuser of God’s children. This is how he is depicted in the book of Job when he accuses Job of doing his good deeds for selfish purposes. The devil pulls the same trick again in Zechariah 3:l:

“Then he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel of the LORD, and Satan standing at his right side to accuse him. The LORD said to Satan, ‘The LORD rebukes you, Satan! The LORD, who has chosen Jerusalem, rebukes you!’”

The name Satan is closely akin to the Hebrew word, Satan’el, which means “accuser.” This is Satan’s stock-in-trade. He is the celestial prosecutor who never forgets our sins and mistakes. Every time I fall down spiritually and try to get up again, it’s Satan who whispers, “Steve, you know who you are. Maybe you’ve fooled these people and they think you’re spiritual, but we know better don’t we? Don’t you remember the TV show we watched the other night when no one else was looking? Don’t you remember that guy whom you vainly flattered to get a better price? And how about those thoughts you had when that young, blond crossed her legs at the party?”

It’s only when we accept the reality of God’s grace and peaceful forgiveness that we will be equipped (or even motivated) to change and improve. Many of us feed on the guilt of past mistakes and, in the process, miss a better future. Forgiveness comes when we repent and ask for it. And after forgiveness happens, any further worry is simply wasted effort. It comes from the devil himself. God’s righteous conviction results in godly improvement—and a realization that, as Paul says, “…one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:13b-14; NASB)

When all your past mistakes accomplish is an ongoing sense of worry, dread, and a lifestyle of inactivity, you can bet that those emotions are not from God. The truth is, God is pulling for you. The Psalmist says, “This I know: God is on my side!” (Psalms 56:6) God is the one who wants you to turn off the tube, get off the couch, put away the chips, and get busy for him! Specifically in the context of dealing with our money, that means we’re not going to allow past dumb money mistakes be our excuse for future dumb money mistakes. It’s time to fearlessly get up and get going! To paraphrase the late Coach Bear Bryant: The road to success is dotted with too many parking spaces.It’s time to get the car out of park and into gear.

The truth is: Anyone with enough gray matter between his ears to crawl out of bed, brush his teeth, and drive to work also has enough smarts to get out of debt and get ahead. It’s a matter of learning some basic (pronounced, s-i-m-p-l-e) strategies, then determining that you’re sick and tired of business as usual!

In my book, No Debt No Sweat!, I was able to go into much greater depth than space permits here. As a shameless plug for that book, I would strongly recommend any reader who has an interest in his or her money (whether you’re struggling with debt; trying to get ahead; wanting to learn the basics of sane investing; interested in developing healthy giving patterns; or teaching your children about money) get a copy. Or, if you prefer, read some of Dave Ramsey’s or Larry Burkett’s materials. There are a host of Christian writers who have squarely taken on the subject of Christians and how they handle (sometimes, mishandle) their money. Become a reader. Then develop your own action plan—and put it into action. Here’s the great news: When we get our priorities right, the rest of our lives will pretty well dove-tail together. Tomorrow is the beginning of the rest of your live. Get busy!

There are three lessons that might turn this predicament into a fruitful learning and growing opportunity.

James, put a high premium on wisdom. (see James 1:5)  Today, there seems to be confusion between wisdom and knowledge. They both have their place — but they are not synonymous. Knowledge is what tells us that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is what tells us not to put a tomato into a fruit salad.

Today’s world has plenty of knowledge but a dearth of wisdom. The smart people of today’s financial world have had their turn at things, and now we are in trouble. Maybe it’s time to rethink the fundamental tenets of our beliefs. Wisdom speaks to this. It says whenever someone gets something for nothing, there will eventually be a disproportionate price to be paid.

Solomon, King David’s number one son, was fond of saying, “There is nothing new under the sun.” It seems to me that there is nothing “new” about our contemporary culture. While I would agree that the names and players are different, the root cause is the same. It pivots on the three things that John warned the early Christians to guard against, “For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world.” (1 John 2:16)

We would serve ourselves well to remember that the best financial teaching is in the Bible. I call it “Money 101.” It comes from a man who knew how to live with and without prosperity. Paul shared with his young protégé Timothy the secret to dealing with money in 1 Timothy 6:17-19:

“Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share.”

Note the three things Paul tells rich Christians to do. (By the way, if you have a bathtub in your home—comparatively speaking—you’re a rich Christian.)

1. Don’t be prideful and arrogant. Wealth doesn’t make one person better than another.

2. Don’t put your trust in your 401(k) plan. As we’ve all seen, dollars in the bank do not guarantee anything.

3. Enjoy your wealth, but be ready to share it at the drop of a hat.

You may be thinking, “That was fine in the day of well-drawn water and one-room houses with no electrical outlets, but it is far too simplistic for our modern, complex world.”

I disagree. Paul’s words from the ancient world are every bit as relevant as the headline on the Wall Street Journalsitting next to my computer. His teaching drills to the very core of who we are and how we think. It gets back to what I mentioned a moment ago: appreciating the difference between knowing (knowledge) a lot about wealth and being wise enough (wisdom) to use our wealth properly.

The Cold, Hard Facts

Today it’s possible (and actually probable) that a young person will go through twelve years of school and four years of college—supposedly being taught what they need to know to be an educated, productive member of the culture—without ever being shown how to balance a checkbook, do a budget or avoid a bad credit card deal! In my years of teaching on money, I’ve marveled at how some of the most educated people out there (i.e. doctors, politicos, lawyers, etc.) are often dummies when it comes to their finances.

The facts should give us all pause:

• Personal bankruptcy is a huge problem in America. In recent times, there have often been about 1.5 million bankruptcies yearly. In some years, we have had more bankruptcies than undergraduate college graduates. Think about that: More bankruptcy decrees than college degrees!

• Presently the average household debt in America, not counting mortgage debt, is roughly $15,000. But, remember, that’s only an average. When you factor in the number of people who live responsible lives with no debt, this means that many others are in a world of hurt. I counsel people regularly whose short-term debts exceed their annual income.

• Americans are presently carrying over one trillion dollars of credit card debt. Many people think nothing of buying this week’s groceries on a credit card and paying for them over the next twenty or thirty years. It has been estimated that, depending on terms and interest rates, if you’re are carrying a credit card balance of $4,000 and are paying only the monthly minimum, in many cases it may take more than twenty years to get rid of that debt!

• The average fifty-year-old has less than $40,000 of total wealth, including his or her home. (To have any real hope of stockpiling $1,000,000 by retirement time, that fifty-year-old will need to start saving at least $25,000 every year until the gold watch. And even that may not be enough to hit the goal!)

• With card debt having tripled since 1990, today the average family is carrying about $10,000 in outstanding credit card debt. Nationwide, there is roughly one trillion dollars of credit card debt.

• Although many students leave college with more than $20,000 in loan debt (that doesn’t count the credit card and car loan debt), many depart the ivy halls without a job. So they become convinced that the solution is more education, which leads to even more debt. Eventually, with multiple sheepskins in hand, they hit the hard, cruel world only to realize that their chosen major doesn’t produce jobs that pay enough to allow them to aggressively kill their student loan debt. They spend their adulthood trying to catch up—constantly fussing with their spouses and unable to relax with their children. Twenty years later, they have nothing saved for their kids’ college or their retirement.

• As of 2009, there was about twelve trillion dollars in outstanding mortgage debt, which represents roughly fifty million home loans. Since 2007, millions of Americans have lost homes because of terrible loan products they bought into between the late 1990s and 2007.

• My experience convinces me that more than 70 percent of all Americans are in financial pain—living from paycheck to paycheck. And that number is growing.  Many people who always considered themselves middle-class citizens made bad decisions that, today, are costing them dearly.

Predictably, there is a lot of finger-pointing.  It’s always easy to blame the bank or the mortgage company when we have too many bills and not enough money.  But the fact is: Everyone is at fault! I blame everyone.

The government is at fault for aiding and abetting, the lenders for lying, the real estate sellers for their greed, and the rating agencies for turning a blind eye.  But most of all—I blame us!  Sometimes, instead of blaming others for my problems, I need to take a close look in the mirror and admit that I really didn’t read the loan documents (or get an attorney’s help). I simply wanted what I wanted—so I signed on the “X” because the deal sounded “so good.”

Today is the day to stop listening to Wall Street, Madison Avenue, and Hollywood—and begin paying more attention to Peter, James, and John!  As Christians we must develop a worldview that is different from those around us who honestly do believe that whoever dies with the most toys wins.

Much of Christian borrowing happens because of three bad things:

1) Often we don’t trust that God will truly provide all our needs. So we try to help Him along by borrowing money to buy stuff that clutters our financial and spiritual lives.

2) Sometimes there’s an element of greed. Remember, Jesus told us that we cannot serve two masters.  We can’t serve both God and money.  But, you say, “I don’t!”  Are you sure?  When we’re being driven by the payment book, we can’t sleep at night, and we’re fussing with our spouse—one could make the case that money is controlling our lives.

And, lastly, there is another all too human trait involved in our borrowing.

3) Too often we borrow money to buy stuff we don’t need to impress people we don’t even know.  It’s called EGO—arguably the most expensive and costly thing we will ever have!

In the next several articles, we’ll examine ways to buck these trends and become better stewards of the resources God gave us.

As you read this, the financial markets may be shooting toward the moon, or they may be in the tank. Historically, stock market investments go up roughly 70 percent of the time. Over the last 100 years, stocks have gained value in most every ten-year period, including during the Great Depression.

The question laid squarely at our feet is how will we respond to the tempests in the teapots of our lives in view of eternity? What if tough times caused Christians to again become the salt that Jesus directed us to be? What if we, again, led by example? What if we bought fewer “extras?” What if we paid off our credit cards and purchased only cars we could afford? What if we saved more than we spent? What if we always had money to give to others and were truly ready unto every good deed? What if we got serious about being all we could be as God’s witnesses before the world?

“Dear friends, I urge you, as aliens and strangers in the world, to abstain from sinful desires, which war against your soul. Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.” (2 Peter 2: 11-13, NIV)

Three Reasons Why People Who Are In Debt, Stay In Debt

As I write this, I’m on a plane returning home to Nashville from a No Debt No Sweat! Christian Money Management Seminar that we concluded last night in Montana. The church was filled with sweet, godly people. But many of them were struggling with their money. I was especially touched by a couple of situations where the people felt hopeless. I’ve learned several things through the years as I’ve taught the seminar around the country, and one of those lessons is that people who are in debt stay in debt for three reasons:

1. They feel hopeless. In truth, they are usually not hopeless. Most people who follow what we teach in our seminars can get out of personal debt (not counting their homes) in a one- to four-year period. Granted, there are huge benefits to starting this process early rather than later in life. But if you’re already in your late forties, fifties, or older, it’s not too late. There are people who start savings plans in their seventies and still see helpful results. Remember, it’s never too late to start doing the right thing. (By the way, in addition to the financial implications in that comment, there are also some profound theological implications. The God we serve is not only the God of the second chance—He’s the God of the ten thousandth chance, too!)

2. They feel all alone. This is where Satan does his best work—he convinces a person that he is the only one with the problem. So, naturally, he’s embarrassed and tries to hide it by putting on his mask and pretending like everything is okay. Yet, inside, he’s dying. His spiritual vigor is gone. He’s fighting with his spouse. He doesn’t have time for the kids. He can’t sleep at night. He’s depressed.

The truth is if you’re in debt, you’re not alone. As I’ve mentioned earlier, I’m convinced the majority of Americans are only one paycheck away from trouble. It’s been estimated that many of us are spending 20 percent of our income paying off short-term, high-interest rate debt.

And as long as the devil keeps us convinced that we’re the only person hurting—he wins!

I’ve about decided that the devil is nothing more than a roach. Have you ever gone into a dark room, turned on a light and seen a roach in the middle of the floor? What does it do the second the light hits it? That’s right—it runs for cover! Dear reader, the devil is a roach. When we begin to shine the light of Jesus on him, he scrams! What we need to do as Christians is develop the “koininia-style” fellowship that the Bible tells us to develop. We need to become each others’ best friends and confessional partners. When we start to talk openly with each other, things change. Church is much more than sitting for an hour looking at the bald head in front of you! It should be the place where we develop our closest friends and confidants.

But to be painfully pointed here, the church is sometimes its own worst enemy. In many churches, “that sort of thing just isn’t done,” some Christians might say. After all, if we’re God’s kids, aren’t we supposed to have our acts together? Sure, we can admit to some of the socially acceptable sins: “I wish I didn’t lose my temper so easily” or “I spend too much time at the office and not enough at home with the kids.” But that’s where we draw the line. After all, many of us are “people of the mask.” When we come into the church building, our neckties are straight, our dresses are in fashion—and our lives had better appear to match up. Maybe it’s time to shine the light of Jesus on that old roach!

When we become involved and invested in one another—and start telling the truth—we’ll begin to open up. Some of you guys need to begin a weekly men’s prayer breakfast so you can cultivate this kind of atmosphere. Some of you ladies need to get gut honest in your prayer circles. Some of you husbands and wives need to invite another couple over, pop some corn, and start the conversation. And if you don’t know what to say, try something like: “I’m sitting bolt-upright in bed at three o’clock in the morning scared about my debts;” or “My wife and I are at each others’ throats;” or “I haven’t given anything at church in six months.”

I believe if you try a stunt like that you’ll be surprised at how the conversation will flourish. And you know what the really neat thing is? There’s a high probability that the other people will breathe a sigh of relief and say, “Me too!”

3. They feel dumb. It’s amazing how often when I’m talking to people about their debts, they’ll stop and look at me and say, “I feel so stupid” or “I’m such an idiot.”

Here’s the fact: Being in debt and being dumb are two entirely different things! Sadly, it’s possible to be totally out of debt and still be a dumb person! But, seriously, the opposite is also true. It’s possible to be in debt and not be dumb at all! I could share a number of stories with you of people I’ve known who were smart business leaders but got themselves into terrible debt troubles.

Granted, most of our debt dilemmas are the result of dumb decisions. But making a dumb decision and being a dumb person are two totally different things!

But, remember, good things usually take time. And that is certainly the case when it comes to developing your PFFP. It may take three to six months before the various categories of your plan begin to work in harmony. You will have to put more in some categories, and take money out of others. Like a master craftsman you’ll gradually fine-tune your PFFP into a highly accurate, customized document. (Remember, as far as I’m concerned, it’s not a budget if it’s not in writing!) But if you stick to it, gradually you will develop an invaluable worksheet that serves as your financial map to a more predictable and secure future.

Six Tricks of the Trade

Let me share six ideas that will give you a real “leg up” as you develop and implement your family’s PFFP.

1) Devote your effort to God in prayer, and make at least a six-month commitment. It takes time and effort to change bad habits. As you launch into this new lifestyle realize that there is a spiritual battle going on. At present, the devil has you exactly where he wants you—frustrated, worried, at odds with your mate. Bring this new approach to controlling your money before God and give it to Him. Make up your mind not to become discouraged—not to turn back. Make a personal commitment to stay the course for at least six months. This will give you the needed time to get past the first few months of confusion. Also, it will give you time to begin enjoying the benefits of your new lifestyle.

2) Balance your checkbook every month! Nothing mucks up a financial management plan quicker than an out-of-balance checkbook. Developing a PFFP while your checkbook is out of balance is like trying to win a triathlon with an anchor tied to your waist.

3) Develop an “Agreement Purchase Amount” with your spouse. Happy marriages are marriages that have good communication. I have recently been working with a couple in a mid-western state whose finances are in terrible condition primarily because of the wife’s uncontrolled spending habits. Without her husband’s consent (and in some cases, even his knowledge), she has racked up over $30,000 in short-term debts—including a new car! I’m happy to tell you that, thanks to a lot of prayer, some good Christian counseling, and a lot of patience on the husband’s part, their marriage is on the mend. But the debt problems are probably going to require at least five years to repair.

I like to encourage couples to agree on a maximum amount of money that either partner can spend without the consent of the other. The amount will vary based on your age, maturity level, and financial capabilities. For instance, if you’re young newlyweds with very limited incomes, you might decide that any purchase over $20 requires mutual agreement. However, a wealthy, middle-aged couple might agree that it’s okay if one buys a car without notifying the other.

4) Avoid the “Impulse Market Mentality.” It’s amazing how many budgets get blown out of the proverbial water because of what I call the “Impulse Market Mentality.” This is the temptation to run into a quick market and grab a snack and a soft drink—or some other impulse item. This is a special temptation to folks who spend a lot of time in their cars, like salesmen. No, I’m not against snacks and soft drinks—but I am against throwing away $100-$200 monthly! Think about it. If you run into a quick market just two times a day—that’s sixty stops per month. And, if each time you buy a drink and a candy bar for $2.00—that totals $120 in the course of a month! That’s $1,440 per year!

5) Use ATM’s cautiously. ATM’s are great—I use them myself. But you need to remember at least three things: First, ATM usage makes record keeping more difficult. It’s easy to make an ATM withdrawal and forget to stub your checkbook. A few oversights like this can lead to an overdraft charge from the bank that resembles a payment on the national debt!

Second, avoid using your credit card at ATM’s because it is so easy to over-withdraw. One study showed that while the average ATM card withdrawal is $53, the average credit card withdrawal is over $120!

Third, when you do use your ATM card—try to use it at your own bank. When you use your card at another bank’s ATM, most of the time there will be additional charges.

6) Consider destroying any credit card that you don’t pay off in full each month. I know that carrying a credit card balance is almost an American institution. But if you are ever going to get out of debt and stop letting your money manage you, a good starting place is with your credit cards. I’ll have more to say about this later, but for now, suffice it to say that credit card debt has proven to be a real financial killer for many families.

In what we call the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus laid out a beautifully balanced plan for this life—and the one to come. In Matthew 7: 13, we read Jesus saying, “Enter by the narrow gate; for the gate is wide, and the way is broad that leads to destruction, and many are those who enter by it.” Now, a fair exegesis of this passage would clearly tell us that Jesus had far deeper, more profound things in mind than credit cards. But, His words here are very applicable to my point. The credit card culture of modern America is fraught with spiritually debilitating quicksand.

The fact is: Credit card companies don’t want you to pay the full balance on time because it doesn’t net them enough profit. As a matter of fact, if you pay off your entire balance every month, they call you a “credit card deadbeat.” That’s right, in the parlance of the credit card industry, a consumer who pays off her full balance on time every month is a “deadbeat!”

So to remedy this problem, credit card companies’ contracts have become more and more complex. I’m told that, on average, credit card contracts are now over thirty pages long! And, boy, they are tough.

You might suppose that since I speak more than 200 times annually to Christians about their money, I would somehow be immune to this problem. But I’ve had disputes with my own credit card company twice in recent months. At least once, I caught them charging me a late fee—when I hadn’t been late.

Here’s a thought: Understand how your credit card works before you start using it. Don’t ever sign up for a credit card unless you’ve read (and understand) the terms of your agreement. And, like I mentioned, these agreements are getting tougher and tougher. I recently heard of a Harvard Law School class that tried to dissect a credit card offer one of them had received. After spending most of the class session reading, re-reading, and discussing the contract’s terms—theythought they understood it, but they weren’t entirely sure. My point here is: if a class of well-educated legal eagles have to struggle to understand a basic credit card contract that should be a clue to us that the credit card companies may not want us to fully understand everything. Some of the things that are creeping into more and more credit card contracts are:

“Universal default” phrases. These allow issuers to raise rates even if you pay that creditor on time, but are late paying another creditor (i.e. another credit card company or utility bill.)

Cards with “two cycle billing.” This is a provision that allows an issuer to calculate your interest rate by reviewing your average daily balance over the last two months, not just one over one month. Some experts say this can cause many people to pay more than they otherwise would have to.

Phrases like the terms can change “at any time for any reason.”

Teaser rates. Look for a card that won’t change your rate until after its initial term expires – frequently after two years. But watch out, even with this provision, a late payment or an over-the-limit purchase may trigger higher rates and fees.

Find out how picky your company is. Some companies hit you with a higher rate and fees even if your check arrives on the due date—if it’s past the time of day marked on your bill.

Beware of easy payment provisions. Find out if you will be charged extra if you pay your bill over the phone

Always mail early—very early.

Don’t hesitate to call and dispute (as nicely as possible) anything that isn’t right. And do it ASAP!